I stopped caring yesterday. Not completely but the process of not caring has begun. I guess that’s what happen when you step out to look in. You realize things about yourself and the situation, become disgusted, and the process of not caring can begin. I know this won’t be a short process. I’m just happy I got to this point.
I’m feeling in control right now :) I’m doing so much. Getting all my goals lined up and in order. Making all these changes. YOLO! The time is now. I’m making it happen for myself and that’s enough to keep a smile in my heart. Even if I can’t show it on my face. On the inside I am smiling. I’m excited about whats going to be happening soon. I feel like someone have been praying for me in the last 24 hrs. I feel these moments of relief. I feel moments of weights being lifted. I feel my chest feeling lighter and being able to breathe again. I took a pretty decent nap too.
It’s that time now! Cool enough in the evening for me to take a run. :)
I was starving and wanted to eat all the wrong things. I didn’t but now I’m eating with a frown on my face. I hate it now but I’ll be happy about it later I guess. This is just a different kind of clean eating for me. It’s super clean!! Maybe I just need to focus in on what’s motivating me. Ugh! I just want a cookie or something!